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Gone too soon

Physically exhausted and all sorts of stiff and swollen, and no not in a naughty way. Pushing 48hrs no sleep. Alyssa and Sam lost someone this morning, the first death for them that hit close to home. And I do mean first, because sadly its inevitable that it won't be the last. Seeing that pain in them is awful and I can't, won't tell them it's going to be okay, because it's not, not for awhile. I guess I am the resident expert on death and grief, and I'm not very good at it. So sad that girl was just 19, made me selfishly a little scared for myself. It's not fair to have any disease taking over your body so young. Shed turned 19 on Reina's birthday...She should have been just beginning her life. I am so sick of people dying around me, narcissistic I know but it's true and I can't help but notice, every time something awful has happened to A this year--she's been with me. :( Is the world trying to tell me something?? Make your point then, fuck!!!

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