susanreiny21 (susanreiny21) wrote,
susanreiny21
susanreiny21

  • Mood:

And back to the future

Reading this stuff, is hard and it makes me realize how much there is I really don't remember. How many pieces are missing. We talked last night, until I fell asleep just before sunrise. I know these are feelings I have to feel, what choice is there really, they are just lurking under the surface, those dark things, behind my magic curtain. I'm burning up inside, but maybe that's good, there's been so much nothing, so much numbness for so long, so much the same, everyday the same things. I'm so tired of living in a broken body and a broken life. I have a strong taste for all the things that are no good for me, and my self control is a joke. But those memories build a fire in me because it's the kind of electricity and connection I've been missing for so long. I'm sure there's so much more out there for me. Still he weakens me because he doesnt want me, thats the only reason, I love to punish myself and I'm unappreciative, easily bored...but also there's just that strange connection, that seems to transcend everything and everyone else, it must be there for something, I just havent figure out what yet. Alone and awake tonight, with too many thoughts. I guess things havent changed all that much in all these years...
Subscribe

  • Hero Take Me Home

    You make me lose sight, Of the reality I'm seeking. Thank god you can't see me, Because my knees are weakening. You're a different kind of…

  • Gone too soon

    Physically exhausted and all sorts of stiff and swollen, and no not in a naughty way. Pushing 48hrs no sleep. Alyssa and Sam lost someone this…

  • Out of love

    This is so hard. I feel like an emotional storm is brewing, I've kept them safe and tucked away a long time, but it's all just built up a sort of…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments